The Mustard Family episode.
"Jiě, I come bearing important news," Renshu announced, tugging at his split-pants.
"Are you finally ready for adult pants, dìdi?"
"You're only four minutes older than me."
"And yet I have mastered control of my own bowels. You have no discretion."
Renshu shrugged. "Does discretion matter when the world is ending?"
"Perhaps discretion is not my concern, but incarceration. If you never fix this behaviour, as an adult (should you ever mature to reach that point), you will find the police are far less lenient than to a four-year-old."
Renshu threw his hands in the air, topping backwards as he did so. "I shall never even reach the tender age of five!"
Shuang nodded. "I believe you are right, dìdi. Even four is too much maturity to ask for. At five, your inability to read the newspaper will be social suicide. At least in the rapeseed fields, no one expects intelligence from you."
"The fields!" Renshu attempted to spit. "You would wish me into a life of thankless labour? One where I would work the skin off my bones, the hair from my head, all for a few measly bowls of liángpí in exchange for my labours?"
"I am your sister. Of course I would wish that."
"Authoritarian."
"Libertarian."
"Communist!"
"Anarchist!"
Renshu took the opportunity to squat and relieve himself. "This is what I think about your ideologies."
"In your ideal world, humans would be shitting everywhere and no work would ever be done, is that it? You would have us be no more than cows, chewing cud and contributing to atmospheric pollutions?"
"As if the contribution to atmospheric pollutions matters at a time like this. The earth is ending today, jiě."
"'Shuang staggered backwards, clutching her chest in horror! Almighty! Her prophetic brother hath declared a truth unto all truths!' Is that what you were expecting?"
"From you? Not at all. But perhaps Shenshi might be more reasonable."
Hearing his name from across the field, Shenshi perked up his ears and trotted over, trying his best to halt his tail from wagging.
Shuang rolled her eyes. "Shenshi is my loyal canine. You have no claims on him."
"Perhaps not yet, but they say crisis brings enemies together."
"And who is 'they'?"
"The government, surely. It would be an excellent way to claim their many crises are positive."
"Share your complaints some more, why don't you?"
"If you insist, jiě. An impoverished nation, no rights for children, and a society built upon millions labouring for a handful to live in luxury."
"I see that sarcasm passes over your head, dìdi."
"Rather, I choose to ignore such base intelligence."
"Base intelligence? Are you discussing Renshu's abilities?" Shenshi's barking laugh alerted the nearby chicken coop, and the hens clucked in protest.
"Renshu has just revealed that the world is ending today, Shenshi." The dog and toddler exchanged a mocking look.
"The end of the world? So libertarians have gained a foothold after all."
"Rue the day!" Shuang sang out, scratching Shenshi behind the ear. Shenshi flicked his ear in an act of annoyance at the affection.
"Amuse me, Renshu. What makes you think today is the end of the world?"
Renshu clasped his small hands in front of him, if only to hide the opening in his split pants. "Humans are known to possess five main sensory abilities. Taste, touch, sight, smell, and hearing. Sharks detect electrical charges. Elephants communicate via vibrations at varying frequencies. Bees sense magnetic fields. And I? I was blessed with the extra sensory ability of foresight."
"If you had foresight, you would work harder now to be rewarded later in life."
"Rewarded with what? Material items? Nourishment? Or—time?"
Shenshi stretched out his front legs, enjoying seeing the siblings quibble. "Humans are the ultimate fools in the world. Dogs find their own food, go wherever they want, sleep whenever they want, and need no clothes."
"Yes," Shuang glanced at his body with distain, "it's most unbecoming. Tell me, Shenshi, do you defecate wherever and whenever you want?"
"Of course not. I'm not an animal." They stared pointedly at Renshu.
Renshu looked down at his legs, wondering if he should upgrade to a pair with a crotch sewn in. "How will you spend your last day?"
"There is nothing to be done, dìdi. Even if today were my last day, I cannot suddenly acquire mass wealth and purchase luxurious, wasteful items, even if I wanted to. I cannot grow old and marry, bearing children to pass on the family name. I cannot create happy memories simply because I want to. What are you planning on doing?"
"I'm going to skip some rocks out by the water instead of watching Bà and Mā in the fields. Want to join, jiě?"
"Hold on," Shenshi protested, placing his paw over Renshu's fat toes, "that sounds absurdly boring. What is something you always wanted to do?"
Renshu frowned at the ground. "Freedom, as a concept, is highly appealing. No taxation, a free trade society, complete autonomy of ourselves. In terms of doing whatever I want, the simple truth is, there is nothing I particularly want to do."
"A life without work is one without purpose or aim."
"You're saying that we work to find fulfillment?"
"We work to keep ourselves busy from wondering about it."
"Then, for our last day on earth, let us wonder about it."
"Very well. Creating communities is what allowed humans to thrive throughout history. Those skilled in certain trades, such as medicine, or food production, are controlled so that all humans may have equal access to these resources. Individualism, or 'freedom', as you would call it, dìdi, is nothing more than disorganization. There must be control of resources, otherwise natural human greed would overwhelm and prevent any from succeeding."
"Your philosophy depends on the idea that humans are inherently bad. Many small communities thrive on the freedom to work when they want, knowing that there is no punishment from any outside source, simply their own survival at stake."
Shenshi snorted, scratching his ear with his back paw in order to draw their attention. "Shuang is far more the realist, but she neglects the ideology that, because humans are inherently bad, the worst of them will seek power in the highest of places. While it's true that libertarians would withhold their services for gain, in an organized society, those in power tug at their society's strings in a far more effective manner, thus having a larger area of impact. I myself lean more towards democracy, though of course, no system is perfect. Democracy fails in the fact that in its attempt to please everyone, no one is assuredly happy with the system."
Shuang raised an eyebrow at the dog, her scepticism reflected in her younger brother's face. "People should be happiest with the system they were raised under and become used to. Wishing for an unreality helps no one."
"The real problem, my dear, is that humans have malice. Tell me, Renshu, in this premonition of yours, how will the world end? In a cascade of fire or a wisp of smoke? Will humans be instantly vanquished, leaving the rest of Earth to survive? Is this God's act of Great Tribulation?"
"You mock my talent. Foresight is perhaps, not aptly named, because there is no seeing. It is something I feel resonating in my bones, travelling from neuron to neuron to let the message be known that this is the end. There is no angel whispering in my ear, nor no fiery bush. I do not know how the world ends, only that it ends today."
"Your ability told you the what and when, but not the who or how? It sounds rather like a poor invitation to me."
"Then let me amend that. Shenshi, jiě, I formally invite you to the end of the world, taking place on the riverbed, featuring two toddlers and a pup, occurring at midnight on this fine Thursday."
"I always figured the world would end on a Tuesday," Shenshi quipped.
Shaung clicked her tongue. "If the world were to end all at once, it would go out 'not with a bang but a whimper'."
"T. S. Eliot. A bit of a dour man, don't you think?"
"There are so many poets who use love, or their interpretation of it, as a means of inspiration. Is that moral?"
"Morality is rather dependent upon the person. For instance, I consider Renshu's laziness to be completely deplorable. He, on the other hand—"
"Find there to be nothing wrong with enjoying my time idly. At least I'm not working myself dull."
Shenshi laughed. "He has a point, dear Shuang."
"Do you think it'll be painful?" Renshu turned his shining eyes towards the pair. "A meteor strike that suffocates us all with gas? A torrent of fire raining down upon the world?"
"If it's fast, then it doesn't matter."
"If my last moment is one of pain then I'd rather sleep during it."
"Why not? That sounds thoroughly satisfactory. The rest of the world is frantic to know how the world will end. The mystery is the fun of it. Let's sleep and never lose that curiosity, even in our death."
"Agreed. But before I die, I want to skip some rocks."
Two four-year-old twins, one a girl, one a boy, and a muddy mutt, together dragging a straw mat, walked barefoot through their Mā and Bà's rapeseed fields to the riverbed, where they planned to sleep through the end of the world.
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