I'm not that gross.
I'm
great for describing the contents of a cake recipe. What, is wet any better? The soggy brownies? The
dripping cupcakes? No. Your cheesecake is not damp; it's moist.
Most
desserts are filled with warm—you guessed it—moisture. If it causes you pain to hear me, then grow the hell up
and call your cookies mushy.
Is
it the way that the 'o' and 'i' sound together? If yes, then explain why hoist
gets along fine with the rest of your vocabulary; with its harsh 'h' and
aggressive tone.
I
know the truth. I know that you dirty-minded English-speaking humans associate
me with your disgusting reproductive methods. I often find myself in the same
boat as penetration, traversing the seas of immature individuals who can't
accept the fact that Betty Crocker's cakes are moist, not 'non-dry'.
Why
bother wasting your time complaining about me, an underused, underrated, and unfairly
hated syllable, when disastrous words such as 'epic' have stirred the minds of
many? Epic is lame. He talks a load of bull and only hangs out with greasy
gamers.
Use
me for baked goods. Use me for sweaty hands. Even use me when describing your
nasty human activities. But don't you ever
try to eliminate me.
Now
go and eat your goddamn moist carrot cake.
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